“Hi, I’m George Strait”

By: Clayton Corn

“Hi, I’m George Strait.”

“No s**t…” is what I almost said back as I shook the hand of a very tan man in the middle of the number 9 fairway at the Dominion Golf Club in San Antonio.

See, I’m kind of the Forest Gump of golf. It really is absurd the things I’ve gotten to do, the people I’ve met and the places I’ve been with a golf club in my hand. It is the great river that runs through my life. I’m not very good at it but the best friendships I have with the exception of one or two of my closest buddies were forged with stories exchanged over three-foot putts. And almost all these stories include Pat Green, as does this one.

I was once a member at Onion Creek Country Club here in Austin and with that came reciprocal privileges at their sister courses, one of which is Dominion. It was rare that I ever got to treat Pat to a round but this time it was on me and I was proud to host.

When we got to the first tee the starter recognized my guest and told us the group in front of us, a twosome already walking off the green, was none other than King George and his compadre. His house at the time was on a big ridge overlooking the course and this was where he spent most of his time when he wasn’t touring or otherwise traveling the world.

I assumed Pat and George were good friends, or at least close acquaintances but Pat decided we shouldn’t bother them during their round and I agreed. Finally though, on the ninth hold where they had stalled out on the fairway while a foursome of geriatric couples contemplated their puts on the green, Pat couldn’t contain himself any longer and we drove from the tee box the 270 yards or so to where George and his buddy were patiently awaiting their approach shots.

“Hey George, I’m Pat Green.”

“Well hello, Pat, how the hell are you?”

He gets out if his cart to shake my hand.

“Hi, I’m George Strait.”

No sh… “Hey George, I’m Clay, great to meet you.”

He turns to his playing companion and introduced him as Clay as well, a doctor, if I remember right.

They ask us to join them but Dr. Clay has to leave as this was their 18th hole so George decides it would be best that the three of us remaining should return to #1 and start over.

And so Pat and I played 18 holes of golf with George Strait.

He’s a great golfer, by the way. He’d just gotten back from a safari in Africa with his family. He’d harvested a couple of trophies and was having them shipped back, I guess you can’t fit an African eland in the storage hold of a G-5. He got home to find one if the A/C units of his house had gone kaput so he had that to deal with once he finished the round. He may be King George but he’s still a homeowner and he still has to call a repairman to come fix his A/C when it breaks.

On about the 3rd hole we see the incredibly cute beverage cart girl for the first time and for the next 5 holes we see her at least once per. Finally on the 8th, a longish par 3, I grab my 4-iron and head up the hill when she emerges once again around the corner from behind a stand of trees. This time she finally gets up the nerve to say something besides, “do y’all need anything?”

I can feel she’s working up her nerve by the timbre in her voice so I turn around from my perch on the tee box as Pat and George begin to order another round of beers… The following scene unfolds:

“Um, um, I’m sorry to bother y’all, but, um, are you Pat Green?” she manages to squeak out through much embarrassed trepidation.

Pat laughs and says yes as George selects a club out of his bag then walks around to rescue Pat from this awkward interaction. Just then she pulls her hand out from behind her back revealing a little pink camera. “Can I get a picture with you?”

“Sure, sweetie.”

She then, for the love of all things holy I tell the gospel truth, hands that little pink camera to George Strait and says, “Would you mind taking it?”

Read that last paragraph again. Wait, I’ll write it again…

She then, for the love of all things holy I tell the gospel truth, hands that little pink camera to George Strait and says, “Would you mind taking it?”

He of course gracefully obliges as I fall to my knees laughing at the unadulterated absurdity of what I was in the middle of witnessing. To make things even more hilarious for us, the little pink camera wouldn’t work so Pat hands George his own iPhone with which he takes a picture of Pat and his adoring fan.

I’ll spare the details on how the photo finally got to her, but it came with a nice little note from me kindly explaining who the photographer was. I received no reply.

So as the Cowboy Rides Away, viva la Tejas and long live King George!

And Pat, I’ll see you this weekend, bring your sticks.

Clayton Corn is a professional musician who has performed with numerous acts including Pat Green, ZZ Top, Waylon Jennings, Carrie Underwood and Lee Greenwood to name a few. Clayton is also an Austin based music producer who is always seeking interesting new projects.  He portrayed an agent only once in his life…that you know of. Email Clayton