{Brad’s Corner} September 2005

Brad’s Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It’s supposed to be funny, interesting and thought provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the September 2005 edition of Brad’s Corner and see what’s on his mind.

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina there have been countless instances of charity, outreach and salvation. Most of these are successful triumphs of the human spirit and are genuinely making a difference. Celebrities are pitching in at a rate not seen since last fall’s Asian Tsunami. I think the worst of these fund raising efforts has to be the telethons that drone on and can’t decide if they are a serious and somber gathering or a raucous and rousing mood pick me up. If nothing else they give old and out of work actors that were one time favorites reasons to be on television again. The only other time this comes into play is when you see someone like Jack Palance at the the Oscars and they are actually in the audience instead of on the list of the dead people. And speaking of that list of those who’ve passed on; is it really fair to include writers, directors and producers who nobody knows of outside the offices of several Jewish lawyers in Hollywood. They get half the applause and just slow down the show.

Anyhow, back to the topic at hand. These telethons are truly a travesty in the wrong hands and can actually make a difference in the hands of Ed McMahon and some C-List boy bands. I mean LFO alone probably helped raise $37.43 for the MDA Jerry Lewis telethon, and that was just people calling in begging them to stop. The other night on the first of the Katrina benefits, Kanye West was paired with Mike Meyers to do one of the boring stand up sections of the show where they read monotone from a teleprompter. You are to distinguish this from the boring musical numbers. Nothing’s better than when an artist is on one of these broadcasts and reaches for an old classic cover and butchers it. I seem to remember Limp Bizkit shredding Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” on one of the 9/11 shows. So, there are Kanye and Austin Powers. Wayne reads his portion, throws it to Kanye who opens with “George Bush doesn’t care about black people…”. Now THIS is some must see tv. A peaceful, Canadian comedian who’s got that “wanna get away for a while?” look on his face and a disgruntled hip hop millionaire. If telethons had more of this I’d give more money. Agree or disagree they put this guy on there knowing he appealed to an audience they were targeting…and he appealed to them I’m sure. The funniest part of all of it was the next telethon where Chris Rock opened up, scared the censors, and said “George Bush hates…midgets”. Now THAT is something that Congress should start an investigation into. I’m fairly certain there are tapes on the internet of Bush participating in some midget tossing at a birthday party full of great Americans who pay their taxes.

Don’t get me wrong, telethons serve a noble and just purpose. They raise money for those affected by tragedies so deep and piercing that my feeble mind can’t contemplate. They jumped the shark on them way back when Michael and Quincy decided they were the world. I really wish they’d hire me to help design/book/organize them. Put some stuff people want to see on there. Cross the Man Show/Howard Stern/Oprah/VMA’s/Sally Struthers infomercials/700 Club and I think you’d have a winning ticket.

*All jokes aside…give what you can when tragedy strikes. Our brothers and sisters to the east could sure use some love, prayer and cash right now.

Minor chords: -Sorry for the column not appearing lately. Life got in the way. I’m back from rehab and ready to rock. I was in there with Ozzy, Daryl Strawberry, and Courtney Love. I learned oh so much.

-When did Jessica Simpson trade personalities with Christina Aguilera? I think she needs to pick up a dictionary and look up the word empowering. Shaking your ass in short shorts doesn’t equate to empowering.

-So I hit 20,000 posts finally. I don’t know if I’m happy or sad about that. Damn it’s hard to be a gangsta.

-I think the Horns might actually go all the way this year. That is unless Mack Brown develops carpal tunnel syndrome from all his sideline clapping.

-DJ’s caught fire the other night and will be closed as they rebuild. Hopes are to have it open by the Oct 29th Doug Moreland Halloween/Costume Bash. As much as I love that little dive, re-modeling couldn’t hurt and they could always re-open with the moniker Ash’s.

-Towards the end of this month I’ll have the opportunity to interview 2 legends of Texas music. Of course, I’m talking about Bubba Daniels and Rockin’ Roger T Suggs.

-Download or buy some old school 80’s rap. Eazy E, 2 Live Crew and pre-Baby Got Back Sir Mix Alot will definitely lift your mood. Hip hop just ain’t what it used to be. Like country music, most of it sucks right now except for the underground stuff.

-Undoubtedly, the best part of the Randy Rogers Band Live at Billy Bob’s DVD is Randy taking the beer with the cap on, trying to drink it and play it off for the cameras. Smooth move, amigo. We didn’t notice!

-Fats Domino rocks.

-Ryan Turner ‘s album, Rollin’ Up My Sleeves is finally dropping. Pick it up. Ryan’s the most underrated, undiscovered, humble talent in an overcrowded cess pool of a scene.

-This month’s recommended movie is: Anchorman. Go back and watch it again folks. I pick up new stuff each time. I remember not digging it that much at the theater but it has grown on me. “That’s how I roll.”

-This month’s recommended album is: Mike McClure Camelot Falling. One of the giants who propelled this scene to the monster it’s become is back with an effort befitting of the living legend he’s rapidly becoming.

-Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most-Mark Twain