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{Brad’s Corner} June 2004

Brad’s Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It’s supposed to be funny, interesting and thought-provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the June 2004 edition of Brad’s Corner and see what’s on his mind.

The ACM Awards were last month and they got me to thinking how insane awards shows are. I always watch them, but why? The performances are contrived and so over produced that even the Fab Five would be like, “That’s a tad overboard.” All of the sudden, sullen, acoustic folk acts think they’re Liza Minelli or Diana Ross. The next thing you know there are dancers moving around the stage with a ton of smoke from machines covering their hideous outfits. And why do they add more performances each year? It seems as though each awards show boasts that they will be having a record number of live music sets. Which, theoretically, should be a good thing. But in awards show land – where the songs are played at a faster tempo and higher key, with crappy sound – that’s a bad, bad thing.Also, why do people always perform RIGHT before they win? You would think the producers would like to add a little suspense to the broadcast. But, I guess in this American Idol world that’s too much to ask. Just once, I’d like Brooks and Dunn to perform, go to the side stage, and then not have their name called while the Bellamy Brothers stride to the stage to accept the award! Just once I beg you Dick Clark!

Another thing I can’t stand is seeing undeserving people win just because they’ve kissed the right ass. The people I want to win never win (i.e. Pat at this year’s ceremony). Grammy for Best New Artist: Milli Vanilli, Paula Cole, and Jody Watley? As Lil Jon would say…WHAT!?!? The recipients of these awards must be decided in back rooms by slick industry lawyers and agents who barter votes for favors. I wonder when this first started happening. Perhaps, it began back when the cavemen were having a contest for who could slay the largest beast. And, I don’t mean the sexual conquest of a rotund cavewoman. I mean dragons or dinosaurs or whatever it was they had back then. The voting was probably rigged by some caveman scribbling over the tick marks on the wall to give his man the award. Millions of years later, archeologists discovered this and thought they were onto some pre-historic tic-tac-toe match that is somehow indicative of how smart our ancestors were. Little did they know, they had discovered the first Hollywood backroom deal. I wonder if they had casting couches back then? Alas, that is for another article.

Minor Chords: -Well it’s June and that means the start of summer. Summer is my favorite season. Starting on Memorial Day weekend and ending with Labor Day weekend, it’s 3 months of good times. It means road trips, river floats, days at the lake, July 4th, outdoor concerts, girls in bikinis, tops down, and for those of Scottish/Irish ancestry (such as myself): alcohol induced sunburns while participating in aforementioned activities!

-Speaking of award shows, I’m giving Galleywinter the award for Best Soap Opera Impersonation by a Music Fan Website. As the Galley Turns. The Young and the Galley. Galley Hospital. Melrose Winter. Galley Winter 90210.

-Someday God will right all the wrongs with country music and Stoney LaRue will be bigger than Kenny Chesney. Then, Randy Rogers will be on the Grand Ol Opry.

-Don’t forget our soldiers overseas. My brother-in-law has been over for a number of months now. Crazy people, hot weather and sand aren’t much fun unless you’re in Padre on Spring Break, so keep them in your prayers!

-I heard a good knock knock joke the other day. It goes like this.

-Knock Knock! -Who’s there? -The FBI! -……(long, silent pause) -FBI, let us in!! -There’s nobody here. -Ok boys, let’s go.

-This week’s recommended album is “Phil Comes Alive” by Phil Pritchett.

-This week’s recommended film is “Run Ronnie Run”.

-Check them out if you haven’t already. Also, I would like to add a new feature to next month’s Brad’s Corner. E-mail or PM me any questions you might have about anything. It will be like Galleywinter’s own Dr. Phil session. Please leave comments at the bottom of the article and don’t forget to vote on the 5-star scale! Peace out!

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”-Mark Twain

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